By PC Bureau
New Delhi
As election day looms and the country wrestles with its nerves, former President Donald Trump is pitching an unusual solution to America’s stress epidemic: relentless hard work. Speaking in Greensboro, Trump dismissed depression as simply a lack of busyness, declaring that if you’re too occupied, there’s no time to feel down. The prescription is simple—squeeze productivity from every second, and forget about mental health. Meanwhile, his team offers fresh promises, from fluoride-free water to “protecting” women, with surprising interpretations that raise eyebrows on both sides of the aisle. Add to this an ongoing battle against “fakers” in the press, Russian disinformation, and Harris’s vote-by-mail encouragement, and 2024’s election circus has a little something for everyone.
Trump’s depression cure
In Greensboro, President Trump shared a groundbreaking mental health cure: the complete eradication of free time. “If you don’t vote, bad things could happen. You’d be very depressed. But there’s no depression if you work hard enough,” Trump assured the crowd. “The cure is simple: work your a** off. You’re too busy to feel sad!” In Trump’s America, mental health takes a backseat to productivity, because what’s a little burnout compared to the satisfaction of squeezing every ounce of joy out of your day?
A Nation on edge
With the upcoming election, it’s no wonder America’s collective blood pressure is spiking. The American Psychological Association revealed that 77% of adults consider the future of the country a “significant source of stress.” Turns out, Republicans, Democrats, and independents can all unite over the thrill of impending doom. As psychologist Bryan Sexton noted, “If you’re stressed, it just means you’re paying attention”—which, given the nightly news, may explain why 69% of voters feel permanently clenched.
Fake news and “fakers” Never one to miss a jab at the press, Trump took to his podium, gesturing at the media crew he lovingly dubbed “fakers.” “I don’t know what good publicity would be like,” he mused, while basking in the limelight he claims to despise. “They treat me so bad, and yet, look at my popularity!” Perhaps it’s the nation’s fascination with anti-heroes, or maybe it’s the media’s gift of endless air time, but Trump insists his bad press is the best PR money can’t buy.
A new (watery) promise
In a pledge that’s got the dental community biting their nails, Trump surrogate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced that, come January, fluoride is out. “We’re going fluoride-free on day one,” Kennedy declared. Because who needs cavity prevention when you’ve got campaign promises? Apparently, Kennedy and Trump envision a future where America’s dental hygiene takes a back seat to… something. Maybe it’s just a shared appreciation for grittier teeth and nostalgia for the days before public health interventions.
Women’s “safety”
In the spirit of unsolicited safety measures, Trump recently promised to “protect women” whether they wanted it or not, prompting Democratic VP nominee Tim Walz to throw the promise back at him: “On November 5, women will send a loud and clear message to Donald Trump—whether he likes it or not.” Walz painted a bleak picture of Trump’s policies on reproductive rights, describing emergency room rejections and parking lot miscarriages as the tragic fallout of the “protection” women didn’t ask for.
From Russia with love
In a plot twist that no election season is complete without, FBI officials identified a pair of new Russian-backed fake videos that attempt to stoke election fears. As usual, these AI-crafted fabrications portray a dystopian nightmare of ballot fraud and political sabotage, presumably with the intent to sow doubt—because nothing says democracy like a virtual smoke machine designed to keep voters guessing.
Harris: Leading by Mail
Meanwhile, Vice President Kamala Harris will be exercising her civic duty by mail, following a tradition that makes all sides cringe and cheer in equal measure. Campaign communications director Michael Tyler affirmed, “She wants to model behavior for other voters.” So, in case you’re wondering: if Harris can vote by mail, so can you. After all, it’s 2024, and a little postage never hurt anyone—at least, not yet.
(The story is based on USA media reports)
